Friday, June 15, 2012
Through A Glass Bottle Darkly
You: Oh good, I need a nice mixed drink. And Canada Dry ginger ale is such a good mixer!
Unhappy Bottle: Ugh, why do they always, always say this?
You: Huh? Is someone else here? Honey, is that you?
Unhappy Bottle: Naturally you don't even see that it's me talking. You act like I'm invisible. Why can't you love me for myself alone? Why do we always have to have a threesome with the hard liquor?
You: Oh, um...OK. Simmer down, you might explode. You're definitely getting over-carbonated. I can't believe I'm talking to the ginger ale. I really need a vacation!
Unhappy Bottle: Typical. You can't even believe you're talking to me! I can't either. You stick me in this damn fridge all day and leave me alone with a bunch of rotten tomatoes. What a life. Honestly. And then you have the audacity to just - just use me for your crummy mixed drinks.
You: I guess I could have some plain ginger ale with some ice cubes.
Unhappy Bottle: So you need ice cubes now! I'm never good enough on my own, is that right?
And when you open the bottle to shut it up, it fizzes angrily all over everything. Remember, next time you encounter a frustrated, unhappy soda bottle in your kitchen - therapy first, then drinks.
Happy Friday! May your libations and drinks be both strong and silent. Ginger ale is a good general mixer, and often used in punches and coolers. Here's a non-alcoholic cooler (they are also called Prohibition Coolers, according to David Embury in his 1948 guide The Art of Mixing Drinks, called a Rail Splitter: Put 1 ounce sugar syrup and the juice of one medium lemon in a tall glass, mix them and then fill the glass with ginger ale.
If you need a something a bit stronger, the basic Rum Cooler is made about the same way, but with one teaspoon of the sugar syrup, the juice from half of that lemon, and (big surprise) 2 or 3 ounces of rum. Oh, and a few ice cubes. Ideally, your ginger ale will have the psychological fortitude to deal with all this.