Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A June Tan For Christmas

Westinghouse never made their sun lamps more compelling as holiday gifts than in this dramatic 1952 advertisement. Sure, it cost $8.50 for the sun lamp - oh, and you simply must buy the sun lamp holder for 35 cents extra, unless the beaming dork on the left is going to hold the thing up to you. But it is oh so worth it, sweetie darling! Just consider this:

--The ad says that you will look like you're "just back from Bermuda." Wealthy, jet-setting, ineffably fancy. So do talk about the cruise ship, and how you and the Duchess of Windsor exchanged fashion tips - she showed you how to use just enough rubber cement to glue the Duke's grimacing smile into place (it seems to work, as we can see). Oh, and the pink sand beaches were divine! Pretend that the postcards you sent everyone simply got lost in the terrible crush of holiday mail, my dear.

--You will inspire guys to make faces of highly exaggerated, hubba-hubba type surprise as you all dance in your seafoam-green living room.You redid it to remind you of the sparkling waters off - well, off Bermuda. Ah, such a divine place to go to in the winter. How you miss it!

--But best of all, look just look at the effect you are going to have on your so-called friend Margie! Poor, pale, suburban Margie. Don't look now, dear, but - well, I think you might be in a tiny spot of danger, darling. Make sure you hid the sun lamp before Margie goes to the powder room and starts going through all your things. Actually, you'd better hide all the Westinghouse appliances. Just to be on the safe side. It's what the Duchess of Windsor would do.

11 comments:

yinzerella said...

I need one of these for my windowless office. I have a vitamin D deficiency.

Kath Lockett said...

Margie is pale (ouch) and also NOT a natural blonde (double ouch) - look at her eyebrows!

Lidian said...

yinzerella - Yes, it will brighten up any room and anyone!

Kath - You're right. Poor old Margie, she was a little heavy-handed with the peroxide.

Ninni Estera said...

not natural blonde,but who cares,right?nice post,keep posting TU

Barbara said...

Imagine what she looked like in her 60s....

Rose said...

The picture in the ad of the couples in the ad. I second Barbara's comment, too!

Marcheline said...

Ah, but old Margie will have the last laugh, years from now, when her skin is still smooth and pale and June is buying fade cream for sun spots (or worse).

Love the old ads, tho - the guys always look like such complete DORKS. Ha!

Lidian said...

Ninni- Thanks!

Barbara - I think she IS in her 60s.

Rose - Or maybe it's just been a hard day's night.

Marcheline - Yes, I love the dorky guys in these ads! These two are especially great.

vanilla said...

Appears that she could swap one dork for the other; that is, if Margie doesn't kill her first.

(That was my first Christmas out of high school. Trust me, I wasn't thinking sunlamp for the girlfriend, or any other Westinghouse gadget, for that matter!)

Mike said...

I guess this ad just goes to show that blondes don't always have more fun. And, if looks could kill, the heroine of our little drama is going to need that tan to look her best, decked out at the funeral parlor!

Marcheline said...

It's my birthday! Come by my blog and party! 8-)