Wednesday, December 14, 2011
A June Tan For Christmas
--The ad says that you will look like you're "just back from Bermuda." Wealthy, jet-setting, ineffably fancy. So do talk about the cruise ship, and how you and the Duchess of Windsor exchanged fashion tips - she showed you how to use just enough rubber cement to glue the Duke's grimacing smile into place (it seems to work, as we can see). Oh, and the pink sand beaches were divine! Pretend that the postcards you sent everyone simply got lost in the terrible crush of holiday mail, my dear.
--You will inspire guys to make faces of highly exaggerated, hubba-hubba type surprise as you all dance in your seafoam-green living room.You redid it to remind you of the sparkling waters off - well, off Bermuda. Ah, such a divine place to go to in the winter. How you miss it!
--But best of all, look just look at the effect you are going to have on your so-called friend Margie! Poor, pale, suburban Margie. Don't look now, dear, but - well, I think you might be in a tiny spot of danger, darling. Make sure you hid the sun lamp before Margie goes to the powder room and starts going through all your things. Actually, you'd better hide all the Westinghouse appliances. Just to be on the safe side. It's what the Duchess of Windsor would do.