On Greasy Street

Popular Mechanics, July 1935

Never mind freelance writing. Just think of all the money I could be making in my kitchen with this incredible potato chip business. Look how happy the woman in the ad is.

It looks easy enough. First I have to "install the wonderful new machine." It appears to be a large tin box with a potato peeler attached to the side. Oh sure, that'll fit in my little kitchen. Unfortunately, the only place I have room for it is where the table and chairs are now. You know, where we eat meals.

Oh, never mind. No one will object, I'm sure - not when they realize how much money we are going to be pulling in! They can just eat sandwiches, standing around the box. Admiring it. Maybe even watching me make "Greaseless" Potato Chips.

Maybe I will even throw a "Greaseless" Chip or two on their plates. So, there will be fine dining and big, big profits. 

Do not call them "Greaseless" Chips when you are selling them. You must call them "Hi Hat Chips." Why? No one knows, really. Oh, and mind the hot oil that we're cooking them in. No, it isn't grease. It's -"grease." And also, we are going to extract the oil from the chips. Somehow.

This amazing 1930s-era opportunity comes to you direct from the retro capital of weird ventures - where else but - Chicago! Yes, just hit that "Retro Chicago" tag below for a whirlwind tour of everything from cake shampoo to exciting detective work - all courtesy of the Windy City. I am absolutely going to write a retro-ads guidebook to Chicago, one of these days.