Monday, May 10, 2010

The Glacé Menagerie

They are having some sort of Bad Gelatin Mold Ad competition over at the ever-wonderful LiveJournal Vintage Ads, and so you can imagine that it was very hard to choose just one. But this one comes with a bonus comic-strip storyline - and what a story it is.

Joan has got a problem. Well, two problems. One is that it is really hot out (I feel your pain, Joan, I prefer autumn myself). And the other is one of those pesky in-law issues (pesky would apply to both the in-law and the issue in this case). To wit: rich Uncle Ted is coming to lunch. Please note that his financial status totally impacts the menu choice. I mean, if this was Uncle Ted the failing haberdasher, Joan could just slap together a few tuna sandwiches and call it a day.

You know, on second thought, she really should have done just that. Because tuna sandwiches are better than what she and Fran come up with as a meal idea: Glacé Salmon Salad. That actually looks like a real salmon. A real salmon in a science exhibit - a plexiglass salmon, clear so you can see all its cunning little innards. No, Joan, don't do it!

I couldn't quite get the Joan comic to scan straight, and it is a little blurry (so is Joan's culinary judgment, so whatever) - but you get the general idea. Joan and Fran are busy debating mayonnaise versus salad dressing issues when really this is not the point at all.

But of course Uncle Ted (who is a close relative of Colonel Sanders, only he likes fish not chicken) seems to love it: "There's a gourmet's word for it, Joan. Your luncheon is delightful...Just the right new flavor to go with fish!"

Yes, Joan, there is a "gourmet's word" for this mess and that word is unprintable (imagine what the Colonel would think of this!). Uncle Ted is just being a courtly Southern gentleman. He's complimenting the mayo, not your meal. So I wouldn't be counting on that inheritance just yet. Next time, stick to sandwiches.


Georgina said...

You know, if I were those ladies, I'd check to make sure I was in his will before serving him something that might make him keel over. Wouldn't you? - G

Barbara said...

Delightful is a gourmet's word? Yes, let's throw mayo on everything and call it good. Bleh!

Bill said...

Very informative ad. Not only do we learn about real mayonnaise, we also discover that Robin Hood has an alter-ego named Fran who gives terrible culinary tips.
Back to Sherwood Forest with you, Frannie-Hood! Stay out of the kitchen!

Tori Lennox said...

That doesn't even remotely look like real food. And seriously, if Uncle Ted is rich, he probably gets weird food like this all the time. He probably would have enjoyed a tuna salad sandwich and some potato chips.

Lidian said...

Georgina - Absolutely!

Barbara - I don't think Uncle Ted knows gourmet lingo, really. This is the best he can do.

Bill - Yes, Fran is a woodland menace.

Tori - I think he really would have preferred that.

Mimi said...

Why do I love molds so much? It's starting to get scary. Seriously. I'm obsessed. Keep posting more. Thank you.