Friday, December 4, 2009
Tour De Forst
Those monolithic camera-ready treats -
All hail enormous ham and mighty turkey!
The brand that everyone has happily endorsed
Without even being Forst
By butchers wielding clubs of ancient jerky.
O steaks that are prepared to sear and sizzle
Even in the cold December drizzle
We hail thee with our Cards of Diner's Club!
We celebrate the sultry Smoked Ham Ball
Which has the power of a siren's call
To levitate Levittown Ulysses from the pub.
Yes, stars will sparkle 'round your famous Mystery Au Gratin
And your melamine counters will glow like satin
When Forst meats first shimmer into sight:
The holidays get exciting in a good way
Guests behave (for once) not in a rude way:
Why, Forst steak makes them sweet as Turkish Delight.
So rush your orders through and start in on the gifting
A big smoked turkey will make your dinnertime uplifting
And even little snacks seem like a feast:
So stock up, folks, it's now or never.
Forst rate meat won't sit around forever
It's this or else the Grinch's best Roast Beast.
[This 1962 ad is from the brilliant cabinet of retro wonders that is Modern Mechanix.]