Monday, November 2, 2009

Mayo Clinic


When two disembodied heads start gossiping about you, well - you'd better watch your back. And your head. These heads put the dis in disembodied, as they light into Sue because - well, just think of it: she had never tried Kraft mayo before. The nerve of that wench!

Simmer down, ladies. If you don't watch out, you're going to fall right into that salad platter. Which may be what was putting Sue off all this time.

And from the look of that salad, Sue probably was better off before. And so were her dinner guests. I mean, just look at that Avocado Salad! What in the world did Sue put in the avocados?

All sorts of disturbing possibilities spring to mind.

[pause to consider some]

Ugh.

Oh, don't worry, I'm just kidding!  It's only tomato aspic. But still. It looks so - so soft and viscous. Nothing, not even Kraft mayo, is going to ameliorate this situation.

Kraft mayo, however, is flattering. It is "flattering to everything." We all know people like that, right? Well, now you also know a condiment like that -

"Gee, Sue, you look swell today. And ladies - boy, I never saw such bee-yootiful disembodied heads. You are stunning! And the tomato aspic - it's so...so - gelatinous."

Looking at that aspic, even the mayo is at a loss for words.

[From Life, October 16, 1950.]

16 comments:

Eric said...

Hah! Great commentary.
Maybe it was still too soon after the war in 1950 for Sue to try Kraft mayonnaise. Kraft is a German company, after all.

I'm not sure if mayo is flattering in all instances. For example, I've only seen a few women wearing mayo, so the jury is still out on that. :)

PJ said...

nastiful, that's all i can say about that picture...have a great day!

Michael said...

Must have been a slow gossip day. Were there no affairs in the neighborhood? No ladies from the bridge club tipping back the martini glass just one time a day too many? Perhaps the nightmare on Mayo Street there is should not be the center of gossip, but rather the subject of a public health warning.

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, gross me out. Tomato aspic? In an avocado? In ANYthing?

Give me a nice tuna salad with some mayo in it, or slather some on my BLT.

But tomato aspic?

Tori Lennox said...

I don't like avocados and I'm not all the keen on mayo either. I'd rather have Miracle Whip.

Lidian said...

Eric - it is supposed to be good for the hair, so maybe that was part of the flattery...

PJ - Yes, it certainly is!

Michael - Slow gossip day, and resourceful little heads!

JD - It is funny, because I don;t even see any mayo on those terrible avocados.

Tori - I have a weird sensitivity/allergy to avocados, and in this instance I'm grateful for that.

Amanda said...

Fun post today. I never eat Mayo, and you have just backed up my decision.

The Bewildered Brit said...

Looking at the heads and then the salad, I thought for a moment that it was still Halloween!

That avocado salad is just wrong. So very wrong. At first glance I thought they were murderous devilled eggs.

Amy said...

hmm well if there's disembodied heads it looks like there are brains mixed in with that avocado slush.

heidi said...

i like how you got us so emulsed in the ad. Har!

Georgina said...

I used to think that tomato aspic was something that my aunt made up to torment me. Tomato flavored Jell-O? Gag! - G

Hairball said...

I suggest making up a few of these monstrosities and leaving them outside to deter burglars! *grins*

Lidian, exactly how many floating heads do you have over there at your house?

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Tomato aspic. I mean... Gross on its own...but under a head? Yeah...

:::shiver:::

Bill said...

Oh, Sue! Sue! Where have you been? You've never tried Kraft Mayonnaise???
You'd better get on the stick, girl, before those other mid-century housewives run you out of town on a rail.

Jazze Junque Inc. said...

Way kool blog~ I have a retro kitchenalia museum in Chicago~ Mercedes

Lidian said...

Mercedes - I am going to visit you virtually right now! That sounds very cool indeed :)