Saturday, September 5, 2009

The I-Don't-Care Bears

Goldilocks and the Three Bras - err, Bears

It's common knowledge that a bear
Has no use for fashions in underwear
And so these three critters are not impressed
With how this floozy gal is dressed.

Goldilocks wanted to be a star
On Broadway or else at the local bar,
She's always auditioning for the chorus;
Who knows how she got into a forest?

Perhaps these bears are urbanites
Enraptured by the city lights.
They live above the Gotham Bar;
(What animals the tenants are...)

One night Goldie got off her waitress shift
And needed a little glucose lift;
Someone told her that, though they were rather funny,
The folks upstairs had plenty of honey.

She knocked on the door, but they were asleep
Dreaming of croquettes de Little Bo Peep;
And when guests wake you up at two in the morning,
You are likely to pounce without any warning.

A bear's mood swings are absolute,
And they do not find Formfit bras that cute;
And visions of glamour do not hold them back
When they wake and consider a midnight snack.

So Goldie, don't mess with a New York bear
While bragging about your underwear;
No bra protects you from ursine wrath -
Three bears, one bimbo: you do the math.

[Thank you to Heather for the ad.]


Tori Lennox said...

The folks who came up with this ad thought it was GOOD? Wow.

Beth (Margie and Edna) said...

I think what I love most about this ad is that it suggests (wrongly, I assume) that all you need to do to stop a bear in its tracks is to flash them your bra. I sincerely hope that no one tried that technique as a means to stop a bear attack.

But Life Bra should have prevented that bear mauling!

Lidian said...

Tori - Yes, I think they were very pleased with themselves, oddly enough.

Beth - It just doesn't work, does it? Good deal these admen weren't park rangers or hiking the Appalachian Trail or anything.

Jessica Cangiano said...

I really do think that cartoon pinup gal is too adorable for words. She could be hawking just about anything and I'd want to buy it :)

Thank you very, very much for your lovely comments and for adding my site to your blogroll, I have done the very same thing with your delightful site, too.

Wishing you a stellar weekend!
♥ Jessica

Hairball said...

I love the fact that Goldie wears high heels out in the forest!

Lidian said...

Jessica - Thank you :) I am SO glad I found your blog, I just love it! Have a great long weekend!

Hairball - Yes, she's not the park ranger type either, is she?

Nadirah Angail said...

haha cute

Rofl Stuffz said...

Did you come up with the poem yourself? That was great!

Rofl Stuffz

Lidian said...

Nadirah - It keeps me amused, anyway ;) Thanks for visiting!

Rofl Stuffz - Yeah, I wrote it,glad you liked it :) And there are other poems I wrote, here and there on KR.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

What was it about the bra ads? They are so odd? Going to parties? Masquerade balls? I dreamed I went here there and everywhere in my...what was it maidenform, right?

Dont you think thats oddly exhibitionist?

Lidian said...

Tracy - You're right, all those weird Maidenform ads too. A disturbing theme runs through these!

plainolebob said...

never heard of such bears but glad i has been warned

Lidian said...

plainolebob - Well, I don't think they've been studied that much yet...

Anonymous said...

OMG that is hilarious and esoteric all at the same time.

Marcheline said...

Again with the big head... but at least this chick's boobs are not shaped like instruments of mass destruction. Mass distraction, maybe!