Ruth came home to see her maHead stuffed full of knowledge
Heaven knows the things they learn
Nowadays at college!
"Ma," said Ruth, "I've learned so much!
I used to run with losers
But in the dorm I live with gals
All happy Tampax users!"
"So I would like to use it now -
It's not considered new:
And so I packed my suitcase and
Came home to check with you."
Ma said "What happened to 'Hello'?
You really are a caution!
Don't tell me you came all this way
Just to discuss absorption?"
"Now Tampax has its pluses, yes,
Though I have not allowed it,
But quick change artists are the best
Now restrooms are so crowded..."
"You say a doctor thought of this?"
"Why, heavens, yes," said Ruth
Geography class pays off as she
Plays havoc with the truth,
Reeling off the continents
Some distant and fantastic,
Where Tampax has conquered women who
Are most enthusiastic;
Ruth bounces off the walls with glee,
Deep in a happy spin,
So Mother pours herself a shot
And mutters, "I give in!
"If Tampax makes you light of heart
And not act like a fool
Go buy a case of it, my dear -
Now go on back to school!"
[From Ad Access.]
13 comments:
That was a very nice bit of poetry. One of your best, I think. After reading the ad I noticed that an economy box of 40 is supposed to last 4 months. In whose world?
It figures that they would want to make you feel light hearted during that time of the month.
Dee - Thanks :) I hadn't noticed that but is IS odd. Probably this applies to another planet (Thixotro, possibly)
MA - A more inappropriate adjective I cannot imagine, and more unlikely, too. This and the 40/4 months ratio suggest that Ruth and her ma got their dialogue from a male copywriter...
Why are the restrooms so crowded?? I could see this in the mornings when everyone in the dorm is trying to grab a shower, but all day??
Lighthearted! Now I'm thinking of those silly ads that some company had about having a happy period. *rolls eyes*
Why aren't there any ads extolling the joys of a prostate exam??
Oh, that was fantastic, L!
Like Hairball, I want to know why in the heck the women's restrooms are so crowded all of a sudden. Mother acts like this is recent phenomena.
"...now that restrooms are so crowded..." Hmmm. War years. Bomb shelter? No.
Housewive's black market! That must be it. They're sneaking into the loo to buy sugar, butter, and real meat.
Geez, what they teach kids these days...last time I was light-hearted during my period was um...well...let me think...
Yeah, it was never. Did Tampax change the formula for their tampons?
Hairball - Ah, I have some terrific ads about prostate trouble dating from the 1930s, that I will have to post soon! As for the restrooms, I can't imagine why the mother thinks they are like Grand Central Station.
Susan - Thank you :)
Bill - Maybe the mother is just dissing the young generation, who don't know how to take turns?
Ebon Swan - I guess they may have tinkered with the details but I reckon the Tampax design was pretty well the same all along. Which of course is not what the ads want people to think!
The bottom of the ad goes to the trouble of mentioning it will come in a plain wrapper, lol.
Restrooms are crowded? Is that the reason tampons were invented. Boy this mom would be amazed to see how crowded restrooms are now.
When I die, and hopefully go to heaven, I want to meet Jesus *first. Then the person who invented tampons.
*Order of meeting is subject to change.
Eric - That's always meaningful, but not always in the same way, of course.
Kris - I was thinking that! I'm glad she didn't see our co-ed washrooms in college either.
Heather - I am very grateful to that particular inventor. I wonder who it was? Maybe I could work in a post on that on my other blog...after a little break, of course.
Wearer does not feel it. Hands need not touch it. Writers use fewer words when mentioning it.
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