Ruth came home to see her ma
Head stuffed full of knowledge
Heaven knows the things they learn
Nowadays at college!
"Ma," said Ruth, "I've learned so much!
I used to run with losers
But in the dorm I live with gals
All happy Tampax users!"
"So I would like to use it now -
It's not considered new:
And so I packed my suitcase and
Came home to check with you."
Ma said "What happened to 'Hello'?
You really are a caution!
Don't tell me you came all this way
Just to discuss absorption?"
"Now Tampax has its pluses, yes,
Though I have not allowed it,
But quick change artists are the best
Now restrooms are so crowded..."
"You say a doctor thought of this?"
"Why, heavens, yes," said Ruth
Geography class pays off as she
Plays havoc with the truth,
Reeling off the continents
Some distant and fantastic,
Where Tampax has conquered women who
Are most enthusiastic;
Ruth bounces off the walls with glee,
Deep in a happy spin,
So Mother pours herself a shot
And mutters, "I give in!
"If Tampax makes you light of heart
And not act like a fool
Go buy a case of it, my dear -
Now go on back to school!"
[From Ad Access.]