These 1950s classifieds might cover most of what you need - that is, if you are bored, worried, uninformed and need to lie low for awhile.
Add in a few cups of coffee and this sounds a bit like a typical morning for me. Except for the desire for a Chicago address.
So let's have a look:
1. A Continental Caper. What sort of racket is being conducted over at 20-H West Jackson? Actually, I want to know the stories of the people who used this service.
2. Sleepless In Flushing. Raymond Dow has a magical invention for us. Ear plugs! But Raymond, I can get these at the drugstore. Thanks anyway, though. You might want to try drinking some warm milk before bedtime, I hear that helps, too.
3. Edna Explains It All To You. Edna? As in Margie and Edna? I am not surprised that you are a Research Specialist! You and Margie know a lot of things, so I would be glad to ask you some questions. For example, could you find out who wants that fake Chicago address, and why? Because I really want to know!
4. Advice For A Dollar. You're out of luck if your problems are legal or medical. So please don't ask about whether a fake address is a good move. Or about ear plug issues. And you may not get advice, exactly - just an analysis. If you already understand your problems this may not be the best idea. Maybe you should just ask Edna.
5. Armageddon In Jefferson City. Now this one is free! You can learn the date the world is ending. Guess that will solve all those research questions and personal problems. Note: the ad was printed 55 years ago, so they may have got the date wrong.
6. Amazing Plans! What thrills are in store for us, Prager? I want to know what these plans are and why they are so amazing. And I'll bet you a quarter that they're plans for setting up a business charging people money for "amazing plans."
Thank you so much to Staci at Just Bloggled for the Lemonade award!